Quiet My Soul.

I am thanking God for this time in Cambodia and for the ability to rest.

This journey to Cambodia has given me such an opportunity to pause from my regular life, to breathe, and to center myself in him. I have learned so much about myself since coming here...really since deciding to come here...and never did I expect to grow as much as I have in such little time. There have been so many moments of indecision and uncertainty. So many times when I dig deep and find nothing. And those moments have been when I see God's steady hand offered to me and realize that it has been there the whole time. That I have been blindly and stubbornly pushing it away until that moment. In those moments, I find myself quiet before God, honest and owning my brokenness, sins, and shortcomings. In that stillness is when I know that I will never be enough for this world, but I am always enough for God. He anticipates my failures and shows me through them that I was created to desperately need him. 

God created me to be inadequate without him, and I am praising him for that this week. 

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."  2 Corinthians 4:7

One of the cafes that we sometimes work from during the week is named Jars of Clay. I had forgotten where this was referenced in the Bible and its meaning until Julie stumbled upon it this week in her reading and she shared it with me. Her Bible had a commentary that explained the fact that Paul used clay jars as an example because they are simple and less than satisfactory in their appearance. The fact that I am inadequate and simple in appearance shows God's power in me all the more clearly. It is not by mistake that he made me inadequate and incapable on my own...it is for his glory to be known and so that I can learn to be dependent despite my stubbornness. 

I am beautifully inadequate in him.