It’s difficult to imagine how drastically different my life will be in less than two months. I’ll be the first to admit I’m scared. This may come to a surprise especially to my family and close friends as most of the time I put on a fairly calm front. I’m worried. I’m nervous. I’m afraid. I've always struggled with acknowledging God does not need me, but chooses to use me. I'm willing, but I just cannot see how God will use me in this situation? There's multiple barriers including language, culture, and gender to name only a few. I worry that I will be more of a nuisance or a bother to the people of Cambodia than any form of help or encouragement. I'm constantly questioning how God will use me and what I have to offer. In all honestly, I have nothing. I don’t know what will happen in Cambodia, how I’ll change, or how God will use me. I don’t know when, where, or in what ways but I don’t need to know. I can trust in the fact that God continually uses the weak to lead the strong. I am confident now more than ever of God’s love and provision for me. Through inspiring conversations, prayer, encouraging notes, and unconditional support from friends and family God has covered me with confidence and strength.
I’m again reminded of the verse I used to sing to myself to sleep at night when I was scared lying in bed in the dark, “When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.” (Psalm 56:3-4) God may not take away my fear completely, but I WILL continue to trust in Him having the confidence that He will use me you ways I may never know.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
Things are getting REAL.
Quick update on the plans for Cambodia so far:
Julie and I are starting to look into plane tickets and trying to find deals, dates, etc. So hopefully we will actually know the day we leave very soon!! Crazy...we're planning on it being around September 20...so we're exactly 2 months away from that goal today. I have no idea when it got to be so close, but we are excited to be getting details figured out...even if it's happening slowly.
We have been receiving some really generous donations towards our trip, and we couldn't feel more loved and supported!! I don't know if anyone is really reading this, but it's just amazing to know that we have family and friends who are willing - or even overjoyed - to share their resources towards our vision and dream. Thank you so much!!
With our departure date around 2 months away, I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately with our plans. Cambodia is slowly transforming from a faraway plan to a real thing, and that can be a little scary. It sounds silly because we have been talking about going for awhile now. It's not like it's a new development or anything, but as it gets closer, fears start creeping in.
Recently, God really brought peace to my worries over the details though, and I just wanted to share what he told me. I was just praying about all of the little details and all of the things that really start to make me doubt my plans - anything from plane tickets to eating that food for 6 straight months to safety to missing my family and the holidays. It can be daunting when my mind just explodes, going through possibility after possibility of the "what ifs." BUT -- right in the middle of me praying/complaining to God about all of these things, he stopped me with this simple and quiet statement --
This is not about you.
This is not about you. Cambodia, this trip, Transitions, all of the work we will be doing -- none of it is about me and it never has been! It's so easy for me to get caught up in my perspective, but one of the purposes of this trip is to break myself out of that perspective and to realize how huge God's work and God's love can truly be. How far his plans reach, and how he can do amazing things if we just obey.
Julie and I are not traveling to Cambodia to vacation for 6 months. We are not going there to be tourists and buy some souvenirs. We are going because God has placed a passion in our hearts for Cambodia and for the girls and women who do not have control over their own lives because of the sex trafficking industry. We want to do whatever we can to help our sisters there break out of that trap, take back control of their lives, and most of all experience the pure joy of freedom and love found in Christ and in knowing themselves.
These are our goals...these are the reasons for our journey...and this is what it is about. Not our own comfort. Not our own peace. But the peace and comfort that can be found only in the arms of Christ.
We so appreciate your prayers - long or short - and we will keep you updated on things as the plans come together!
Julie and I are starting to look into plane tickets and trying to find deals, dates, etc. So hopefully we will actually know the day we leave very soon!! Crazy...we're planning on it being around September 20...so we're exactly 2 months away from that goal today. I have no idea when it got to be so close, but we are excited to be getting details figured out...even if it's happening slowly.
We have been receiving some really generous donations towards our trip, and we couldn't feel more loved and supported!! I don't know if anyone is really reading this, but it's just amazing to know that we have family and friends who are willing - or even overjoyed - to share their resources towards our vision and dream. Thank you so much!!
With our departure date around 2 months away, I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately with our plans. Cambodia is slowly transforming from a faraway plan to a real thing, and that can be a little scary. It sounds silly because we have been talking about going for awhile now. It's not like it's a new development or anything, but as it gets closer, fears start creeping in.
Recently, God really brought peace to my worries over the details though, and I just wanted to share what he told me. I was just praying about all of the little details and all of the things that really start to make me doubt my plans - anything from plane tickets to eating that food for 6 straight months to safety to missing my family and the holidays. It can be daunting when my mind just explodes, going through possibility after possibility of the "what ifs." BUT -- right in the middle of me praying/complaining to God about all of these things, he stopped me with this simple and quiet statement --
This is not about you.
This is not about you. Cambodia, this trip, Transitions, all of the work we will be doing -- none of it is about me and it never has been! It's so easy for me to get caught up in my perspective, but one of the purposes of this trip is to break myself out of that perspective and to realize how huge God's work and God's love can truly be. How far his plans reach, and how he can do amazing things if we just obey.
Julie and I are not traveling to Cambodia to vacation for 6 months. We are not going there to be tourists and buy some souvenirs. We are going because God has placed a passion in our hearts for Cambodia and for the girls and women who do not have control over their own lives because of the sex trafficking industry. We want to do whatever we can to help our sisters there break out of that trap, take back control of their lives, and most of all experience the pure joy of freedom and love found in Christ and in knowing themselves.
These are our goals...these are the reasons for our journey...and this is what it is about. Not our own comfort. Not our own peace. But the peace and comfort that can be found only in the arms of Christ.
We so appreciate your prayers - long or short - and we will keep you updated on things as the plans come together!
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
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